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Not Qualified!

 

Hi Friends!

I hope my “TITLE” doesn’t offend you…….

Have you ever not felt qualified for something that you felt God was calling you to do? This year I attended my first Speak Up Conference 2015 and boy, was I sure filled with feelings of not feeling good enough. The “en-in-me” sure knows how to attack myself! But let me just remind YOU and ME that OUR GOD is so much BIGGER than our insecurities!

Not to mention that those lying voices couldn’t stick around long with ALL the love and warmth that came from the women at this conference!! By day two I was feeling empowered!! By day 3 I didn’t want to go home after the conference was over. I knew that the reality of dirty laundry, sink full of dishes and children who constantly remind me every minute that they’re bored would be waiting for me.

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Okay, that’s beside the point and in case you are wondering I made it home safely. All the way to Grand Rapids, Michigan! I think the drive took me 20 minutes. 🙂

Did you know we ALL have a story inside of us? Some have a desire to share their story, some are unsure about their story and some God is prompting them to share their story.

In my case, God put on my heart to share my story last year. Then I met a new friend who mentioned it might be a good idea to go to Speak Up Conference 2015. But I had to ask myself, “How am I going to go to a writing conference when I’m not a good writer, and I didn’t even learn how to read until I was 21 years old?” I can remember my very first job application where the person interviewed me and said, “We are concerned about your spelling on the application. I mean, come on, God, what are you doing to me? Just let me be…….Please allow me to stay where I am comfortable.” But that was not His plan.

So here I am. I attended my first Speak Up Conference this year and let me tell you how faithful God is! (He really showed up at this conference!) In my early twenties which was 17 years ago I bought myself a spell checker and dictionary and I began to teach myself how to read. Over the past decade of my life I have been like a sponge, ready to learn anything I can get my hands on. My favorite book to read is the bible because it BLOWS me away how ALL the answers to life are in this one book!

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Some of you are probably wondering why I was not able to read. It’s because I grew up in a home surrounded by violence, alcohol, and drug abuse and I learned to shut down at a very young age to protect myself. I was placed in special classes all through my school years, which caused me to wear the label of “dumb girl” my whole life.   WHY am I sharing this with you? Because if MY GOD can get me to a writing conference and use my messed up life that was full of anger, pain, and trauma, then He can absolutely use YOU and YOUR STORY!

What has GOD placed in your heart to do? What STORY do you have to share? Does it scare you to take the step of FAITH and to walk into that calling? I would like to encourage you to NOT miss out on your DESTINY! Did you know we can do ALL THINGS through Christ Jesus who strengthens us? (Phil 4:13)

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6 Comments

  • CIndy BUltema

    Paula, can I just say I am so super proud of you?! It is a BLAST to see how God is working in and through you! Way to go! I cannot wait to see what the future holds, friend. Keep focusing UP, and allow Him to infuse you with everything you need. And picture me with pom poms cheering you on every step of the way. Yay, God! Yay, you!!!! xo
    P.S. Your website looks awesome!

  • Sandi Banks

    Wow, Paula, it delights my soul to see God powerfully answer our prayers when we turn to Him in our weaknesses and receive His strength. I rarely share personal prayers, but in light of your honest words in this blog, I thought it might be a encouragement, about our amazing God, how He prompted me to pray for you just before SpeakUp conference when you shared this very need, then showed His faithfulness to hear and answer. He is awesome!
    “Paula…May I pray for you?
    Lord, You know and You see Paula’s heart. You’ve walked with her through her challenges and struggles, and now have given her a desire to put her story of redemption on paper. How often you put us in a place that is SO out of our comfort zone that we remain tethered to You, focused on You, desperately dependent on You. In those times and places, when our hearts are aflutter, and our hands are empty, You can accomplish above and beyond anything we could ask or imagine! Paula admits her nervousness, and her need to remember that her identity is in You, and You alone. I pray You honor her willingness to walk by faith, and be used as Your vessel.

    We give you and praise and glory for all You will do in and through Paula, and in every step along the way, leading to the outcome that You deem perfect for her. In the matchless name of Jesus our Lord, Amen!”

    • mm

      Paula

      Sandi,

      I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your prayers! I’m sure we will meet again!

      Hugs,

      Paula

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