Paula

Life is a journey. It’s not a destination. We’ve all heard this, but it’s always helpful to hear it again. The same is true for our spiritual growth and healing from childhood trauma. 

I found myself for many years, striving, working hard in my own strength, trying to push doors open. But guess what? You know what I found out, it all had to do with my self-worth. Nothing I ever did was good enough. And if I would have walked through those doors I wanted to open before I was ready, it would have been a disaster.

God knows when we are ready and He knows how to get us ready.  If I had not paused and taken the time to work through broken patterns and thought processes, I would have actually made a mess of things because I wasn’t healed enough. There were so many things that God had to get out of my flesh. 

So today we’re going to talk about the importance of the pause, so we can heal and learn what real growth looks like. 

Don’t Push Through the Pause

The pause usually brings on that feeling of ‘being stuck.’ Feelings of what I am doing right now is not enough.  We find ourselves asking questions like, what is my purpose in life? And we start to get dissatisfied with the things we should be grateful for. 

But whatever process you are in, you are not actually stuck. Ask God what He is trying to teach you. 

Remember, there is so much to learn in the pause. I love the Bible scripture – Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

When you find yourself in the pause, don’t look at it as something bad. So many people get so upset within the pause because we all want to get to the next level, the next thing. 

I would encourage you to think about it this way – what might take 2-5 years to heal from or work through is worth it. Instead of viewing yourself as being in a bad place, view this time as being on your way to freedom and finding your purpose.  

So much happens in the pause. God wants you to trust what He is doing. Are you willing to slow down enough to trust Him?

Healing from Negative Thoughts

It can take years to fully heal and rebuild your life. When you have been through dysfunction, abuse, trauma, addiction, it is going to take time. It is going to take time to let go of compulsive behaviors that you have used for so long to survive. 

But what will keep you stuck in the healing process is not liking where you’re at. If you don’t learn to slow down and trust the process, you’re not going to heal. Forcing things and focusing on the fact that you are unhappy with where you are and beating yourself up are not going to help you to heal any sooner. 

It’s about finding peace and contentment in your healing. This will help you learn to identify your triggers, recognizing what has happened in your life, recognizing that you may be processing trauma and God might be wanting to show you some things that He knows you are ready to work through. 

When you’re learning to rebuild your life, when you are learning to heal from compulsive behaviors, when you are learning to heal from triggers, you’ve got to be patient with yourself. You’ve got to love yourself in the process.

If you want to grow and go to the next level, you can’t skip the pause, you can’t skip the resting and you can’t skip the healing. In that pause and that healing is where we let go of perfection, where we let go of striving. It’s where we let go of control.

How to Grow in the Lord

I hope you hear my heart in this blog post. I’m really trying to help you to get to your breakthrough.  I’ve been in this process for a long time and I can look back and say, “Man, that issue that used to trip me up – it’s no longer an issue today”. 

Instead, I say “Girl, look how far you’ve come!” 

That’s where I’m at today – that’s where I want you to get to. In order for us to grow, we’ve got to be super patient as we are learning to practice new behaviors. Some days it’s going to feel like one step forward, three steps back.

That’s the way we grow in life and learn a lot about ourselves in the process.  

In the growing season, you’re also going to learn that there are people you are going to have to let go of. Because, the truth is, as you grow, there are many people you can’t take to the next level.  

In order to be the best version of yourself, you gotta let go of the toxic people that are retriggering you.  But let me clarify because sometimes the people that trigger us can be very close to us – children, siblings, parents and we can’t just rid our lives of them. In these cases, we need to set healthy boundaries.

This looks like putting time limits on phone conversations, and having specific do’s and don’t that we stick to.  I’ve actually had things written down in my back pocket to say to be ready if I felt I was being triggered.  We have to get a strategy and plan in place. 

When we are rebuilding our lives we need to do the work so we are prepared ahead of time.

I want you to keep growing deeper and higher with God. There are so many patterns that He has helped heal me from, but there are also patterns He is still revealing to me that I have been struggling with. 

Spiritual growth doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and effort, but it’s worth it! 

Keep on growing in the Lord, and you’ll be amazed at what He can do in your life.

Let’s Review

We have gone through some key tools today: 

➡️Pause and recognize patterns in your life. 

➡️Give yourself time to heal.

➡️You grow by creating new behaviors, habits and mindsets.

In the rebuilding process, you will have off days. Just remember this is all part of the growth process. Every time we fall back into old patterns, it’s an opportunity to learn. Just remember to honor the pause, so you can heal and grow. We need to get back to that pause.  Get back to slowing down, because when we learn to slow down, that’s when we can learn to follow through with our new behaviors and learn to be consistent. 

I believe in YOU. 

If this has helped you, please share, share, share.  If you are new, please leave a comment!  

People are hurting and looking for help in this world. Here are some additional resources for you to explore for yourself and share with those who are in the midst of a season of pausing, healing or growing.

• Letting Go 7 Day Devotional on the You Version App
• Cross Addicted Book by Paula
• Paula on Instagram
• P.R.E.T.T.Y. Podcast with Paula Jauch
• YouTube Channel
• Why Trauma Survivors Fear Change

I grew up in a home filled with trauma, abuse, addiction and pain.  Recovery has been a long road, and I am still learning.  When I first decided it was time for a change, I quickly became terrified.   Maybe you can relate.  

Maybe you come from a similar background and the thought of changing your life is too much to consider.  I encourage you to challenge your thinking in this.  

It’s not too much, you do deserve to heal.  

You might just need help understanding why it is so overwhelming.  Read on, I’m breaking it down in this post. 

Why Am I Scared to Heal from Trauma?

When you make the decision to heal from your trauma, you will feel all sorts of different emotions. I was prepared for this, but I did not expect one of them to be guilt. 

Survivor’s guilt is the discomfort we feel in creating a better life for ourselves. This creates a variety of complex emotions:

• We feel bad that others are still stuck and don’t understand what we are doing. 
• We get trapped in the thought cycles that we don’t deserve a better life and so it feels “wrong” to pursue these healthy changes at first. 
• The guilt sets in because those we are leaving in our former life don’t take lightly to us walking away.  
• Taking care of ourselves is a new behavior because we were always taught to please other people or pacify them, especially in abusive or addiction situations.  

In order to change and create a better life for ourselves, we have to leave some things and some people behind.  

This guilt has actually led me to go back to unhealthy relationships I used to be a part of.  Then, of course, the cycle of getting sick again would start all over.  These setbacks in my healing process taught me so much.  

Coping With Change

I got to the point where I knew something had to change. Everything had to change.  Which meant, I had to push through the fear of change.

As we go through life, change is going to be happening all around us all the time.  Working through healing from trauma helps us to better cope with changes as they come, and not let our world fall apart each time.  

With the supernatural power of Jesus and the natural power of practical steps and learning, a new life can be reached.  

To hear more on this topic, you can listen to my podcast here.

If you or someone you know is on the journey to recovery from childhood trauma, I encourage you to check out my resources.  

• Cross Addicted by Paula
• Letting Go 7 Day Devotional on the You Version App
• Paula on Instagram
• P.R.E.T.T.Y. Podcast with Paula Jauch
• Paula’s YouTube Channel