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Let Go of Unhealthy Patterns and Learn to Live With Intention

Let Go of Unhealthy Patterns and Learn to Live With Intention 1080 1080 Paula

I used to think that the years I spent in unhealthy patterns were wasted until I changed my mindset. 

Looking back now it was all part of the process. Believe it or not the pain and the patterns have made me who I am. They have helped me to become a stronger person. And a person who relies on God to be my strength.

I want to help you focus on how you can get the most out of this year. How you can start to let go of some of those patterns and make this year count for you. 

As I look back in my journals, year after year, there were unhealthy behaviors, toxic relationships, unhealthy patterns that I could not get out of and I just didn’t know how. 

Sound familiar?

A lot of us have become victims of our circumstances. And what I mean by that is that we became victims of trauma and abuse, but let me tell you something friends, you don’t have to stay there. 

You don’t have to stay there. 

Are you tired of being sick and tired?

The secret that no one may have told you yet is that you have to be the one responsible for setting the stage for your life. No one is going to come and save you. 

How do you do that?  

Let me help.  Here are the main points we talked about in this podcast episode. Make sure to listen to the full episode to expand on each one.

  1. You must believe freedom is possible. 
  2. You have to recognize your triggers and unhealthy patterns.
  3. You need accountability. But it needs to be safe accountability. 
  4. Set your environment up for success. 
  5. Stop saying “I will try” and start saying “I will.”
  6. Learn to put a plan of action in place. If you have no plan of action, you will fail every time.

What is your vision for 2023? 

Having a vision doesn’t mean that you’re going to do this year perfectly. But it does mean you will make some changes and come out stronger. Just remember you may not be where you want to be. But thank God you are ready to make some changes this year! 

I would love for you to reach out and send me an Instagram or Facebook message. Or feel free to hit reply and send me an email. This is your action step. 

I want to know: 

  • What is your vision for 2023? 
  • What steps will you take to get there?

Even if you don’t know what God’s doing in your life, and even if you don’t know what your goals and your visions are, you need to trust that God is going to show you that God is going to make it clear. 

If you want different results, you’re going to have to do different things.

If you want different results, you're going to have to do different things. Click To Tweet

Happy New Year let’s make this a year of intention and purpose. Let’s not just let the days the times and the hours go back and live with regrets.

To hear more on this topic, you can listen to my podcast here.

Episode 49If you or someone you know is on the journey to recover from childhood trauma, I encourage you to check out my resources.  

What is my purpose in life?

What Is My Purpose In Life?

What Is My Purpose In Life? 1080 1080 Paula

Have you ever asked yourself, what is my purpose in life? I know that I have many times. Especially having gone through a lot of trauma… It leaves us feeling confused, like we have no purpose at all. 

Make sure to check out this podcast episode for even more on this topic.

Let me ask you this: What is in front of you right now?

Sometimes we can get so focused on a life purpose and passion, that we can forget the smaller things that are in front of us right now. Like having an amazing spouse and children. We can forget to be thankful that we woke up healthy or that we have a house and food. We skip all of the important things that are part of the process to get to where God wants to take us.

Every day we have the choice to wake up and submit our life and will to God.  

Every day we have the choice to wake up and submit our will and life to God. Click To Tweet

What is it right now that God is asking you to do? It could be something so simple like learning to spend time with Him and in His word. 

What does the Bible say about walking in purpose?

Have you carved out the daily time to spend with God in prayer? Be honest with yourself about this one, because spending time with God and in His word is the way you discover your purpose and this takes daily discipline. If you haven’t started that is okay too, let this be an encouragement to you. 

You will find many Bible verses that ask us to trust God. Do you trust God enough that He know what He is doing with your life? Do you believe He will guide you to what’s next? We have to remember He is an on time God and His ways are higher than ours. 

In James 4:7 it says, therefore, submit to God and resist the devil and he will flee from you.

So whatever your plans are and whatever you’re doing in life, submit to God. Whether it works out how you wanted or not  – continue to submit to God and trust Him, and do not give the devil a foothold in your life by believing your life doesn’t have purpose. 

We have to learn to be consistent in the little things.

I’m sure there are things in your life that you’ve started and then stopped. 

When I started to discover my purpose, God taught me the importance of follow through. There is a Bible verse that say’s if I can trust you with a little, I can trust you with a lot. God will usually work on our character before He reveals the bigger vision for our life.

What are some of the little things that God is asking you to do?

These little things are what add up to the bigger purpose.

To hear more on this topic, you can listen to my podcast here.

If you or someone you know is on the journey to recover from childhood trauma, I encourage you to check out my resources.  

Pause. Heal. Grow.

Pause. Heal. Grow.

Pause. Heal. Grow. 1080 1080 Paula

Life is a journey. It’s not a destination. We’ve all heard this, but it’s always helpful to hear it again. The same is true for our spiritual growth and healing from childhood trauma. 

I found myself for many years, striving, working hard in my own strength, trying to push doors open. But guess what? You know what I found out, it all had to do with my self-worth. Nothing I ever did was good enough. And if I would have walked through those doors I wanted to open before I was ready, it would have been a disaster.

God knows when we are ready and He knows how to get us ready.  If I had not paused and taken the time to work through broken patterns and thought processes, I would have actually made a mess of things because I wasn’t healed enough. There were so many things that God had to get out of my flesh. 

So today we’re going to talk about the importance of the pause, so we can heal and learn what real growth looks like. 

Don’t Push Through the Pause

The pause usually brings on that feeling of ‘being stuck.’ Feelings of what I am doing right now is not enough.  We find ourselves asking questions like, what is my purpose in life? And we start to get dissatisfied with the things we should be grateful for. 

But whatever process you are in, you are not actually stuck. Ask God what He is trying to teach you. 

Remember, there is so much to learn in the pause. I love the Bible scripture – Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

When you find yourself in the pause, don’t look at it as something bad. So many people get so upset within the pause because we all want to get to the next level, the next thing. 

I would encourage you to think about it this way – what might take 2-5 years to heal from or work through is worth it. Instead of viewing yourself as being in a bad place, view this time as being on your way to freedom and finding your purpose.  

So much happens in the pause. God wants you to trust what He is doing. Are you willing to slow down enough to trust Him?

So much happens in the pause. God wants you to trust what He is doing. Are you willing to slow down enough to trust Him? Click To Tweet

Healing from Negative Thoughts

It can take years to fully heal and rebuild your life. When you have been through dysfunction, abuse, trauma, addiction, it is going to take time. It is going to take time to let go of compulsive behaviors that you have used for so long to survive. 

But what will keep you stuck in the healing process is not liking where you’re at. If you don’t learn to slow down and trust the process, you’re not going to heal. Forcing things and focusing on the fact that you are unhappy with where you are and beating yourself up are not going to help you to heal any sooner. 

It’s about finding peace and contentment in your healing. This will help you learn to identify your triggers, recognizing what has happened in your life, recognizing that you may be processing trauma and God might be wanting to show you some things that He knows you are ready to work through. 

When you’re learning to rebuild your life, when you are learning to heal from compulsive behaviors, when you are learning to heal from triggers, you’ve got to be patient with yourself. You’ve got to love yourself in the process.

If you want to grow and go to the next level, you can’t skip the pause, you can’t skip the resting and you can’t skip the healing. In that pause and that healing is where we let go of perfection, where we let go of striving. It’s where we let go of control.

How to Grow in the Lord

I hope you hear my heart in this blog post. I’m really trying to help you to get to your breakthrough.  I’ve been in this process for a long time and I can look back and say, “Man, that issue that used to trip me up – it’s no longer an issue today”. 

Instead, I say “Girl, look how far you’ve come!” 

That’s where I’m at today – that’s where I want you to get to. In order for us to grow, we’ve got to be super patient as we are learning to practice new behaviors. Some days it’s going to feel like one step forward, three steps back.

That’s the way we grow in life and learn a lot about ourselves in the process.  

In the growing season, you’re also going to learn that there are people you are going to have to let go of. Because, the truth is, as you grow, there are many people you can’t take to the next level.  

In order to be the best version of yourself, you gotta let go of the toxic people that are retriggering you.  But let me clarify because sometimes the people that trigger us can be very close to us – children, siblings, parents and we can’t just rid our lives of them. In these cases, we need to set healthy boundaries.

This looks like putting time limits on phone conversations, and having specific do’s and don’t that we stick to.  I’ve actually had things written down in my back pocket to say to be ready if I felt I was being triggered.  We have to get a strategy and plan in place. 

When we are rebuilding our lives we need to do the work so we are prepared ahead of time.

I want you to keep growing deeper and higher with God. There are so many patterns that He has helped heal me from, but there are also patterns He is still revealing to me that I have been struggling with. 

Spiritual growth doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and effort, but it’s worth it

Spiritual growth doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and effort, but it's worth it! Click To Tweet

Keep on growing in the Lord, and you’ll be amazed at what He can do in your life.

Let’s Review

We have gone through some key tools today: 

➡️Pause and recognize patterns in your life. 

➡️Give yourself time to heal.

➡️You grow by creating new behaviors, habits and mindsets.

In the rebuilding process, you will have off days. Just remember this is all part of the growth process. Every time we fall back into old patterns, it’s an opportunity to learn. Just remember to honor the pause, so you can heal and grow. We need to get back to that pause.  Get back to slowing down, because when we learn to slow down, that’s when we can learn to follow through with our new behaviors and learn to be consistent. 

I believe in YOU. 

If this has helped you, please share, share, share.  If you are new, please leave a comment!  

People are hurting and looking for help in this world. Here are some additional resources for you to explore for yourself and share with those who are in the midst of a season of pausing, healing or growing.