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Hey Friend!

Do you ever struggle with not being able to stop eating?

Yes, this was my behavior for the last 20 years of my life! And I didn’t want to live this way anymore; I just didn’t know how to stop. I tried so many things to make it go away. I tried new diets, diet pills, making promises to myself, to God. I would buy smaller clothes and then set a date to fit in them. None of this worked! It just kept me in a vicious cycle for years. I felt defeated, I hated myself, and I missed many social events, including my children’s school activities and sport events.

It took me many years later to finally admit that I needed help! I went to a therapist who I heard specialized in the area of eating disorder. The first day I walked into her office, I said. “Look, I need a food plan. I can’t stop binge eating.” She looked at me and said, “I will not give you a food plan but we are going to find out what happened to you.” I was NOT happy when she said this! You are not going to let me do it my way. But for the first time I realized my way wasn’t really working.

I started to let go and it was a process…not an easy process, not a fast process, but a healing process. It was so worth it!

For the first time I looked at the pain in my life and learned to identify where it came from. I had to let go of all my food rules and learn to trust myself.

Yesterday was Easter and you know what, I didn’t binge on candy or food! And it wasn’t until I was going to bed that night that I had realized it! Wait, I’m not sick from binge eating on candy? I didn’t even touch my kid’s candy? It was the first time in 20 years that I didn’t binge on Easter.

I thank God for this! He gave me the strength to walk through a much-needed healing process. But I also had to be willing to do the work!

I hope everyone reading this will get the help they need if they are struggling in any area of their life.

Hugs,

Paula Jauch

[fusion_text]Hey Friends!

Do you struggle with body- image issues or can’t seem to stick to a diet? 

Enjoy this blog I wrote on my birthday last fall!

I want to THANK everyone for the birthday wishes!! I am very EXCITED about this next year/chapter in my life!! In the past my birthdays meant nothing to me. It would be just another year I was trying to survive. A lot of you that know me or maybe have known me for years probably feel I am a STRONG woman or she was a very strong “single mom” and “hard worker.” I’m sure some of you were probably thinking how did she do it all? Taking care of four kids and a grandbaby and working two jobs and keeping a house up. To tell you the truth, when I would lay my head down at night I would ask GOD to please help me, I didn’t want to live like this anymore.

For most of my life I have felt very insecure and I walked around carrying a lot of self-hate. When I would walk in a room full of people the first thought I had was, what do they think of me. The voices that played in my head since I was a little girl were, you are FAT, STUPID and UGLY…

I tried many coping mechanism to try to make them go away. When I was 18years old I went on my first diet. I was on a mission to make that voice go away that would call me FAT and I would show the people who I allowed to confirm it. This started a vicious cycle in my life of dieting, binging and purging through being active and using laxatives. (This is called a form of bulimia) This pattern caused me to get very sick last year around this time. Another way of coping was always working two jobs to give my children whatever they wanted. This did nothing good, but cause them to have a sense of entitlement and act like BRATS.

Last year around this time, I started therapy and I told her I needed help. I didn’t want to binge and purge anymore. What little did I know GOD was about to turn my life upside down. In March of last year I was driving to work as a “Weight loss coach” and I parked my car. I heard GOD say, “You are done here”… “What, I loved my job?” I could relate to most everybody who walked through the door, they had the same struggle as I did. It just looked a little different. I cared SO much about them, because I could understand their pain, but I knew I needed to step down and first help myself. This was not easy at all. I was next asked by GOD to stop all dieting and most of the things I did for being active. I had to surrender all my forms of CONTROL, which were not working anyway. It was very hard some days…. I screamed, cried and even laid in bed. It took work on my part, I had to look at my junk, forgive myself and other people that hurt me. Especially, my earthly Father who did the best that he could. Somewhere as a little girl my IDENITY was stolen. I walked in that for too long. BUT not anymore…I am FREE!

GOD allowed two amazing people in my life to help me walk through this journey. One was my AMAZING husband and my very good friend, Sue Deboer. I want to tell you it was the BEST decision I ever made! This chick that thought she would always going to struggle with this issue is FREE and the voices are gone!!! I’m NO longer afraid of food, I don’t care that I put 15lbs on through this healing process. This last year what I sacrificed; relationships, my jobs, my reputation and some of the clothes in my closet not fitting, gained me freedom of a lifetime. It doesn’t mean my life will be free of troubles, but this LADY is ready to fulfill her DESTINY to help others get FREE!

Blessings,

Paula[/fusion_text]